apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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