..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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