i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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