I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
