I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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