Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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