On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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