Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
