Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize