The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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