my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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