I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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