Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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