OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
