I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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