I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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