Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
