More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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