I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
