I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
