Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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