oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
A bitchslap is in order.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize