The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
