mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize