Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
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That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
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THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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