new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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