check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
