help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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