I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
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