are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
