I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
