If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize