she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
