I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
