did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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