sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
