Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
