I think im going to throw up on grandma
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
