Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize