I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
