yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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