Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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