I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
