Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
