yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
