Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
