Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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