Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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