Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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