i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
