:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
