Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
