U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
