Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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