Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
