I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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