it wasn't lemon gatorade
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
