i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize