i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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