i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
