I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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