Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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