the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
