Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
